Friday, February 20, 2009

The Oscars

Hollywood Assistants like the Oscars. It's finally here! The day that is more exciting than Christmas, your birthday, and the season premiere of Mad Men combined – it's time for the Oscars. The Superbowl for film nerds kicks off Sunday at 2:00p on E! for 6 straight, glorious hours of red carpet coverage followed by the delicious main event. We can't wait to spend hours watching Seacrest and Giuliana hypothesize on what people might end up wearing. And the grand event will hopefully culminate with Brangelina snubbing Seacrest again, leaving him weeping in his Zegna tux. We. Can't. Wait.

So in honor of THE BIGGEST DAY IN HOLLYWOOD, we present to you our Oscar picks. We could be right… we could be wrong… What do we know? We're just assistants. But here's who we think will be taking home gold on Sunday.

Best Actor

Will Win: Sean Penn
Should Win: Mickey Rourke

Penn's proven himself time and time again as one of the greatest actors of this generation, and his turn as Harvey Milk was at times both uplifting and heartbreaking. But Mickey runs away with The Wrestler. He breathes Randy 'The Ram' Robinson. And who doesn't love a good comeback story?

Best Actress

Will Win: Kate Winslet
Should Win: Melissa Leo

Kate's made this awards season her bitch and we expect her victory lap to continue on Sunday night. However, we loved Frozen River and Melissa exemplifies commitment in her portrayal of a down-on-her-luck single mom under desperate financial duress. Her performance is subtle and nuanced and makes you forget you're watching someone act.

Best Supporting Actor

Will Win: Heath Ledger
Should Win: Heath Ledger

We're still having nightmares about the Joker dressed in that nurse's outfit. Who knew someone so pretty could turn in such a sinister performance? If he doesn't win, we expect fanboys to riot in the streets.

Best Supporting Actress

Will Win: Who knows?
Should Win: Penelope Cruz

Kate Winslet took the Golden Globe and didn't get an Oscar nod in this category, and we loved all of the performances from the other nominees. So your guess is as good as ours. Cruz's turn as a completely bat-shit ex-lover hits us a little too close to home, but that's probably also why we're so drawn to it. Everyone knows you haven't experienced true love until you try to murder your boyfriend in a jealous rage.

Best Original Screenplay

Will Win: Milk
Should Win: Frozen River

This is probably one of the best categories at this year’s awards. While we think Frozen River deserves it, we’ll still be happy for Milk when it wins since it was an amazing screenplay. We also like seeing In Bruges recognized here considering it was such an underrated movie. We only wish Rachel Getting Married and Vicky Christina Barcelona were nominated too.

Best Adapted Screenplay

Will Win: Slumdog Millionaire
Should Win: Slumdog Millionaire

This category is boring. Slumdog will and should win because it has no competition. Next.

Best Director

Will Win: Danny Boyle
Should Win: Danny Boyle

If Christopher Nolan were nominated this would be an entirely different race. But alas, he’s not and therefore Danny Boyle will and should win.

Best Picture

Will Win: Slumdog Millionaire
Should Win: Who cares?

At this point in the night we will have drunk far too much champagne and it probably won’t matter to us who wins. It’s not like our lives will be any different come Monday morning. We’ll still have to set up that conference call or stock the fridge with Arrowhead water. But we’re optimistic that one Oscar night in the future will be magical for us. Because deep down inside these bitter, stressed out souls lies an incredible film lover who one day dreams of Oscar gold.

WHERE: 5pm on ABC
COST: However much you put down for your Oscar pool. And we recommend printing these out for extra Oscar fun:

1 comment:

mike said...

No chance you're going to win this year. Not a chance.