Hollywood Assistants like brunch. To say brunch is the best meal ever is like saying the sky is blue. It’s just so obvious. Brunch crams two meals into one and therefore provides you with double the options and double the tastiness. It’s a total win-win situation. Us Hollywood Assistants look forward to this time each and every week. Working 12 hour days Monday thru Friday can be a bitch. So when weekend comes we like to reward ourselves with a special meal. And luckily, Los Angeles loves brunch just as much as we do.
Brunch in Los Angeles isn’t just a meal, it’s an event. They say the streets are lined with dreams here, but in reality they’re lined with brunch spots. There’s nothing better than getting together with a group of friends after a Saturday night at The Bar and recounting all the details. Being able to remind your friend about how she made out with that William Morris trainee over an omelet is awesome. Finding out you passed out in a booth in front of your co-workers who you barely know over pancakes isn’t so awesome. But, hey, at least you’re at brunch AKA the best meal ever, and when pancakes are involved nothing can really be that bad.
Los Angeles takes their brunches very seriously. So seriously, in fact, there’s a tier system. Three tiers, actually. Here is how they break down:
Tier 1 Diners and Chains: This tier is the lowest of them all. It includes restaurants like Swingers, IHop and Mel’s. One usually frequents these places when pinching dimes. Sure, you want brunch, but your wallet isn’t agreeing with you (did you really need to buy you and your friends those two fish bowls at Happy Ending?). One may also dine here if they are with a group of straight and fratty boys. Straight and fratty boys love these places for brunch, because to them it’s technically not brunch. It’s either breakfast or lunch. Only straight and fratty boys who are comfortable enough with themselves and have fine taste buds admit to ‘brunching’ and go to places in other tiers. Other examples of Tier 1 Brunching spots: Yukon Mining Company, Norm’s, Canter’s
Tier 2 Trendy, yet Reasonable: This tier is the most common for brunch. It includes restaurants like Toast, Kings Road Café and The Griddle. The restaurants in this tier are cool, though won’t end up costing you a million dollars. You might run into someone you interned with, yet also spot an actor from 24. These places are where us Hollywood Assistants feel most at ease. We can gossip, be seen and not have to worry about how we’ll pay for our next meal. This is where we go to shoot the shit. Just be careful about who you’re shooting the shit about as someone from the other table is probably their Facebook friend. Other examples of Tier 2 Brunching spots: Quality Café, Grub, Lulu’s.
Tier 3 Fancy and Reserved for When the Parents are in Town: This tier is for all the restaurants that are way too expensive for us Hollywood Assistants. Though, if there’s a special occasion (and we’ve saved up) or someone else is paying the bill, we’ll go. This tier includes restaurants like Campanile, Grace, BLD. It’s not really that we can’t afford to go to these places. It’s just that we don’t. But one day we will. Other examples: Polo Lounge, The Ivy, Hatfield’s
One place that offers a brunch in Los Angeles that doesn’t really fit into any tier is Saddle Ranch. Yeah, that Saddle Ranch. Did you know you could go there, order breakfast and for just $10 more get unlimited mimosas and Bloody Mary’s? Well, you can. And it’s kind of awesome. The clientele might be full of Rock of Love rejects, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t fun. Whether you’re a Hollywood Assistant, an Olly Girl or from the Inland Empire, it doesn’t really matter. And when us Hollywood Assistants are drunk enough we don’t judge.
Learning about your friends shames/embarrassments from the night before isn’t as much fun if it’s not in person and over food. Brunch is the special time for all us Hollywood Assistants to congregate after a wild night out. We might be hungover/nauseous or looking like we just got hit by a truck or even still in the clothes we wore the night before (hello, one night stand), but who cares? This is our time to stuff our faces and act like the twentysomethings we often forget we are. Breakfast and lunch never tasted so good.
WHERE: Every other block in this town
COST: Tier 1: under $10, Tier 2: $10-$20, Tier 3: Over $20