Wednesday, September 10, 2008


Hollywood Assistants like Barney’s Beanery. Seriously, what’s not to like? It’s a bar that serves beer by the pitcher, has more flat screen TVs than a Best Buy and is full of Hollywood Assistants hoping to get laid. Barney’s is basically all the good things in life rolled up into one fine establishment in Los Angeles (fine, there’s also one in Santa Monica as well as in Pasadena and one is opening in Burbank soon. But for the purpose of this post we are referring to the one on Santa Monica Blvd, which is obviously the best one anyway).

I don’t know much about football or basketball or even baseball. Sure, I have favorite teams and know the basic rules of each game, but I couldn’t tell you who was in first place or what teams won Saturday’s games if it killed me. Nevertheless, I love going to Barney’s to watch said games because let’s be honest I don’t spend much time watching them at all. Rather I am drinking until I get wasted and eating until I am stuffed. The food at Barney’s is incredible. Greasy, huge proportions, it’s the best food in the world to eat while drinking. Diet Shmiet? You’re having so much fun boozing and pigging out the calories mean nothing. And sometimes it’s nice to go somewhere in LA where ordering a big, fat burger gives you no nasty grimaces.

Barney’s is so laid back it really doesn’t matter what you look like when you walk through the doors. Heels? Hell no! A tie? You want to get your ass kicked? Boys wear football jerseys and girls can wear whatever they want. Girls could wear sweatpants and still have a gaggle of guys trying to hit on them. Barney’s was made for flip flops, jeans and t-shirts. And let’s face it, while we’re in our monkey suits at our jobs all week it’s nice to be able to not care what we look like on the weekends. Human Resources won’t be on our butt for not following the proper dress code at Barney’s nor will our co-workers think we’re slutty for wearing short shorts.

The only downside to Barney’s is the lighting. It’s way too bright for a place where people incessantly try to pick up other people. That why you have to drink double. The drunker you get the hotter people become is like the number one rule in going out to meet people. Since Barney’s is so damn sunny, in order to make people more attractive drinking more is a necessity. Which is something I don’t mind…

For good beer, good food and good fun, Barney’s is the place to be. From football on the flat screens to karaoke three nights a week, this is a spot for us Hollywood Assistants to let our hair down and pretend like we’re still in college. Not only is Barney’s one of our favorite bars in the city, but it’s also a Los Angeles institution. So many famous and historic people boozed and dined there. Janis Joplin had her final screwdriver here! Now that’s something cool to tell your friends from home about your local drinking site. In a non-name dropping kind of way, of course.

WHERE: 8447 Santa Monica Blvd. Hollywood, CA 90069
COST: Cheap (just like you'll feel after giving the guy in the Raiders jersey your number)

1 comment:

Aubrie Campbell said...

So true its scary.
Nothing like a chorus of drunken fools screaming "Don't Stop Believin'" to make you forget your boss is an asshole.