Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Diet Coke

Hollywood Assistants like Diet Coke. I’ve had a lot of drinks in my day. A lot. But there’s no drink I’ve enjoyed more than Diet Coke. It’s the drink I crave at all times. I could have a Diet Coke with any meal, anytime of the day, rain or shine. There’s no way to quite describe the sensation I get when that wondrous caffeinated, bubbly goodness hits my lips. It’s pure ecstasy.

Some of us Hollywood assistants are lucky enough to get free lunch everyday at work (usually brought right to our desk by an intern, score!). Others aren’t so fortunate and have to fork over their hard earned cash if they want to eat. Though, there’s always one thing I’ve found that’s free at any job in Hollywood: Diet Coke. Most office refrigerators are constantly stocked with can upon can of DC (that’s Diet Coke for all us fiends). And sometimes our jobs are so stressful that the only thing we even have time to consume during the day are a few cans of Diet Coke (best diet ever!). Plus that’s how you know if you have a bad job. No free Diet Coke = bootleg company. Get out now.

Diet Pepsi seriously has nothing on Diet Coke. I know there are a few people out there who like Diet Pepsi more, but you’re fooling yourself. You probably don’t like Diet Coke because you like the underdog (these are usually people who rooted for Jillian Lewis on Project Runway or Syesha on American Idol). Diet Coke is far superior to Diet Pepsi. Drinking Diet Pepsi is like drinking Diet Rite. It’s just cheap and tasteless.

Diet Coke is the perfect drink for any occasion. Whether it be in the morning after a long night of drinking (total cure for a hangover) or during a movie at the Arclight (omg, Diet Coke from a fountain is THE greatest thing in the entire world) or at a bar while you’re the DD (usually bartenders take pity on you and give it to you for free), Diet Coke is the absolute best. I know that no matter how hard my day is, there’s always going to be a cold Diet Coke waiting for me in the fridge to make me feel better. I get my fix from Diet Coke. And hey, it’s cheaper than crack.

WHERE: "No shit, you guys got Coke here?" "Well yeah, this is America."
COST: Free at work or $1 for a can

1 comment:

Dear Famous A$$hole said...

I actually kinda feel sorry for people who don't drink diet coke. Like "too bad for you"...you have no earthly clue what sort of ecstasy you're missing out on on a daily freakin basis. Also, I will only do cans or a fountain...in a completely desperate hysterical sitch I will do bottles, but I don't like it...AT ALL. Man, a DC from a properly calibrated fountain machine? (teeny bit heavier on the bubbles, please people)--I dare you to name one thing on the planet better than that. DARE YOU.