**This post brought to you by a politically-minded Guest Contributor**
Hollywood Assistants like Barack Obama. Why? Well, for one, we’re all young, which means we care about the future, which means that he’s really our only option in the upcoming election. Beyond that exceedingly obvious reason, he also happens to appeal to the Hollywood Assistant by fulfilling several conditions that we look for in our everyday work lives.
First of all, he’s a liberal like we are. You don’t spend $150,000 for college and then decide to work in an industry that openly peddles sex and violence to the public unless you’re a liberal. Now, if you’re a conservative, you’d secretly indulge in the sex and violence and work in an even further depraved industry—politics. So with that in mind, Barack Obama gives us comfort to know that even though he’s in politics, which means he’s probably worse than we think, he poses as a hardcore liberal and will at the very least ensure that our girlfriends can CHOOSE to have an abortion whenever they feel like. A comforting thought, indeed.
Secondly, Barack Obama isn’t white. The majority of people in this industry are white. That’s just a fact. I’m sorry that Hollywood doesn’t participate in Affirmative Action (well, some writing programs do, but those don’t count, since they’re just a way to get around being an assistant), but it’s hard to ignore the fact that the diversity we so desperately seek can really only be found in the form of the Tyler Perry empire. We kinda feel bad that we work in such a white-washed world, so the best way we can prove how much we like diversity is by supporting the black…actually, the African-American presidential candidate. And just to clarify, when I say diversity, I mean RACE, not gender. There’s no need for us to want a crazy and scary female in the White House when there are plenty of them to spare in
Another thing that we like about Barack Obama is that he tries really hard not to talk shit. I mean, it’s fine to call other people out when it’s appropriate. Hell, this blog seems to thrive in doing so. But just like us, when Obama calls out Hillary, he does it because he knows she deserves it. Hillary, on the other, talks mad shit about Obama. All the time. Non-stop. It’s like she’s the too-cool-for-school intern who doesn’t realize the only reason she’s around in the first place is because her boyfriend used to work at the company for a while and put in a good word for her. Obama has managed to class up the entire election process by staying calm and that’s just something we don’t see among the flying coffee mugs and the echoes of expletives being launched in our daily routines.
Lastly, we like Barack Obama because his key philosophies match those of every Hollywood Assistant. Whether it’s our dream to work in show business, our passion to create art or even the desire to make a shitload of money, we’re all in the same boat—we can only hope to achieve that seemingly unattainable goal. The life of a Hollywood Assistant isn’t like that of the characters on Entourage (unless you count Lloyd, but even he seems to be having a better time doing what we do)…just look at this blog, our pleasures are simple and, for the most part, very basic. So when we take a look at who might be the next President, we’re not deciding between keeping our tax breaks intact or making sure that every person in America has health insurance—no, we look for some one who reinforces the one thing we feel slipping away while we sit at our desks, rolling calls: Hope. That’s why Hollywood Assistants like Barack Obama. He makes us believe that you can go from being a “nobody” to making it big. He shows us that despite lacking the experience that others have, you can make things change for the better to succeed. And in the end, he makes us feel comfortable by having us chant the same words we mindlessly use to respond to our bosses when they ask us if it’s possible to get them a four-person reservation at Osteria Mozza that night at
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COST: $15 minimum donation at http://www.barackobama.com
1 comments:
NICE one!
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