Abbreviations

Hollywood assistants like to abbreviate. I was going to write this entire article in abbreviations. But then I decided against it, because it is an obnoxious idea and we don’t need to lose any of our 10 precious readers.

But like most assistants, I am a mad abbreviator. I’m not talking your standard AIM/Gchat “J/K – LOL!” exchange. That’s kid stuff. I constantly drop abbrevs into professional emails. I’d like to tell you it’s because I’m too busy to spell things out all the way, but then I would be lying. Mostly it’s because I’m too lazy. I’ll fire off a “Confirmed. Thnx” before you can count to three. Probably close to 75% of my emails start off with “FYI”. And this sentence is probably the first time I’ve spelled out through (vs. thru) in close to 2 years.

My passion for all things shortened, truncated, and condensed is probably rooted in being a member of the AOL generation. I was 11-years-old when I entered my first chat room for “TeEnZ ChAtTiNg!!!!!” and learned how to tell people that their clever quip about Brian from the Backstreet Boys made me roll on the floor laughing my ass off. And while it’s convenient and probably saves a fraction of a second each time I use an abbreviated form of a word, I can’t help but feeling that it’s ultimately contributing to a decrease in my intelligence.

It was a sad, sad day when my AOL/Texting speak made the leap from the digital screen and into the office, and one from which I will probably never recover. My coworker and I now spend most of our days screaming “O. M. G.” at each other over the latest Speidi photos, and talking about how we’re “Totes sure that call is confirmed.”

So I’m going to give you all a piece of advice that I should probably take myself: take the time to spell, speak, and type out the whole word. Save the abbreviations for that drunken text you send to your bootie call on Friday night (the one you think is a good idea at the time… but we all know it’s not). Because one day you will mistakenly say “OMG! That call went totes well! IDK how you do it!” to your boss. And once you’re branded the office Valley Girl, it’s a hard thing to shake.

WHERE: Gchat, AIM, email, text messages, the office, your life
COST: Your intelligence and vocabulary